Showing posts with label Joke. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Joke. Show all posts
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Thursday, November 8, 2007
WTH
1) Jim : I am thirteen year old.
Joe : But you were only six year old last year!
Jim : That's right!Six year old last year and seven year old this year! That makes thirteen year old
Joe : =.="
2) Man : Are you still looking for your lost pound coin,little boy?
Boy : No, my little brother found it.
Man : Then what are you looking for?
Boy : My little brother.
3) Teacher : Why are you late this morning?
Jack : Sir, I am late because I had stopped a fight.
Teacher : That's right, always be a peacemaker. How did you stop them?
Jack : I punched them both.
4) Mum : Where's the sponge I told you to buy?
Smiffy : I couldn't see a good one. They all had holes in them!
5) Teacher : The people of Poland are Poles; the people of Sweden,Swedes. Can you tell me what the people of Germany called?
Minnie : Yes, teacher. The people of Germany are Germs.
Joe : But you were only six year old last year!
Jim : That's right!Six year old last year and seven year old this year! That makes thirteen year old
Joe : =.="
2) Man : Are you still looking for your lost pound coin,little boy?
Boy : No, my little brother found it.
Man : Then what are you looking for?
Boy : My little brother.
3) Teacher : Why are you late this morning?
Jack : Sir, I am late because I had stopped a fight.
Teacher : That's right, always be a peacemaker. How did you stop them?
Jack : I punched them both.
4) Mum : Where's the sponge I told you to buy?
Smiffy : I couldn't see a good one. They all had holes in them!
5) Teacher : The people of Poland are Poles; the people of Sweden,Swedes. Can you tell me what the people of Germany called?
Minnie : Yes, teacher. The people of Germany are Germs.
Monday, November 5, 2007
Thursday, October 25, 2007
A Dainty Fart
A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for Christmas dinner.
This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.
They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.
The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart.
It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof.
Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing under the woman's chair, and said in a rather stern voice, "Skippy!".
The woman thought, "This is great!" and a big smile came across her face.
A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again.
This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer rip.
The father again looked at the dog a nd yelled, "Dammit Skippy!"
Once again the woman smiled and thought "Yes!" A few minutes later the woman had to let another rip. This time she didn't even think about it.
She let a fart rip that rivaled a train whistle blowing.
Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, "Dammit Skippy, get away from her, before she shits on you!"
This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.
They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.
The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart.
It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof.
Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing under the woman's chair, and said in a rather stern voice, "Skippy!".
The woman thought, "This is great!" and a big smile came across her face.
A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again.
This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer rip.
The father again looked at the dog a nd yelled, "Dammit Skippy!"
Once again the woman smiled and thought "Yes!" A few minutes later the woman had to let another rip. This time she didn't even think about it.
She let a fart rip that rivaled a train whistle blowing.
Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, "Dammit Skippy, get away from her, before she shits on you!"
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10
1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to peep.
But the couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down.
The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me.
I run so fast until I fall 6 and throw up.
So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him.
Then I took a 9 and try to stab him.
10 God he run away.
So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven.
Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6.
He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work.
He also asks me to climb a 3 and jump down.
I don't understand, I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.
But the couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down.
The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me.
I run so fast until I fall 6 and throw up.
So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him.
Then I took a 9 and try to stab him.
10 God he run away.
So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven.
Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6.
He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work.
He also asks me to climb a 3 and jump down.
I don't understand, I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Mom And Son
One early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up
MOM : "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school."
SON : "But why, Mama? I don't want to go to school."
MOM : "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school."
SON : "One, all the chilldren hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me."
MOM : "Oh! that's not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school."
SON : "Give me two good reasons WHY I should go to school?"
MOM : "One, you are FIFTY-TWOyears old and should understand your responsibilities.
Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the school.
MOM : "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school."
SON : "But why, Mama? I don't want to go to school."
MOM : "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school."
SON : "One, all the chilldren hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me."
MOM : "Oh! that's not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school."
SON : "Give me two good reasons WHY I should go to school?"
MOM : "One, you are FIFTY-TWOyears old and should understand your responsibilities.
Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the school.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
有钱仔的作文
我出生在一個非常貧苦的家庭，記得小時候，爸爸的生活很無寣A整天只能數錢，媽媽也是，整天都在掃錢；我家住在深山中，每次要出去買東西，都相當麻煩，開保時捷要5小時，開賓士也要4小時；雖然家裡有直昇機，但是開到那邊很難找到停車位，相當的不方便；我偶爾也會出去逛街，爸媽怕我被綁架，隨身有20多個保鑣保護著，大家看到我都嚇跑了，所以我從小就開始被排斥........ 因為家裡是在深山，每次到了冬天都非常冷，爸爸也說，出去買東西很麻煩，所以冬天沒有暖爐...沒有棉被...每天只能陪著爸媽燒錢取暖...而睡覺的時候，也只能蓋著錢睡覺(我覺得英鎊比較溫暖)。記得小時候，有一次，因為房間太大，還來不急跑出房間，就尿褲子了，所以，爸爸在我房間放了一台小綿羊機車，好讓我能在10分鐘以內，衝出1000坪的房間，穿越5公里的走廊，到達800坪的廁所(我常常在走廊迷路)；爸爸又另外叫人加蓋了20間600坪裡面有著250坪小廁所的破房間，說:以後如果尿濕了，直接換房間，如果房間不夠或是太小的話，再告訴爸爸，爸爸再叫人來多蓋幾間，我們的生活很辛苦，你要忍著點現在想起來，爸爸真是個善良的人 還記得有一次，家裡遭小偷，因為他用炸藥炸壞了我爸的保險箱，使得裡面的金幣不斷的往外滾出來，結果竟把那個小偷壓死了......我覺得那個小偷好可憐......金幣壓死人是很痛的他不像之前那個被鈔票悶死的小偷一樣幸運。 媽媽也常常告訴我，我們家生活非常困苦~~要我學著吃苦~~所以我從小養成了刻苦耐勞精神，我將來的志願，是要找200隻會吃錢的怪物，好把家裡的錢都吃光，為那些可憐的小偷報仇
Monday, September 3, 2007
结婚前后
【结婚前】，往下看↓：
男：太好了！我期盼的日子终于来临了！我都等不及了！
女：我可以反悔吗？
男：不，你甚至想都别想！
女：你爱我吗？
男：当然！
女：你会背叛我吗？
男：不会，你怎么会有这种想法？
女：你可以吻我一下吗？
男：当然，绝不可能只有一下！
女：你有可能打我吗？
男：永远不可能！
女：我能相信你吗？
【结婚后】，从下往上看↑
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